ANGRY letter.

Dear Sacred Hearts Academy Athletic Department,

I have met many girls and made friends with girls who played basketball for your school. Your school seems to pull a good team together; a lot of heart; a lot of hustle and that's what everyone looks for when selecting a team.

Although, being apart of this year's 2009 Kaiser summer league basketball tournament, your team definitely showed how to play aggressively with physical contact. At a certain extent it is good because that's what basketball is about, but the aggressiveness and poor attitude of that game went too far. The actions we saw from your team were unbelievable especially for a private school which teaches good morals for life.

During the game Secred Hearts players were purposely flying elbows at our team and cleaning us out with no apologies. What was more shocking was seeing the coaches cheering their players on and gave them high fives during the times when our players were down and injured!! The parents, supporters, and other teams witness this as well.

For future purposes i encourage that you remind your players and coaches that the school has a good reputation and that they should have pride in their school. Therefore, show good attitude and sportsmanship on the court as well as, showing good manners by helping someone up after they clean them out and that they are representing the school as a whole.

Thank you for taking your time out to listen to my concerns. I hope you take my comments into considerance. I wish your team well this season. Goodluck :)

Sincerely,
Ciarah Canencia

2 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 7, 2009 at 1:29 AM

    Hey Ciarah,
    Oh my gosh, I remember this. HAhaha this is a funny letter, and very well written. You sound very professional and good job remembering to start the letter positive.
    One thing you should work on in your revision is cleaning up some of the sentences like "Therefore, show good attitude and sportsmanship on the court as well as, showing good manners by helping someone up after they clean them out and that they are representing the school as a whole." This sentence is kind of long and the last part doesn't really make sense in this sentence.
    Besides that, it sounds very good,
    <3 kirsten

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  2. Destrie:)December 9, 2009 at 6:05 PM

    Wassup Girl!!!

    good job, on this letter! It flows pretty nicely, from starting out positive with compliments and with the example of their reputation like, "Your school seems to put a good team together; a lot of heart; alot of hustle.." then going into the incident that occured, then ending it with your suggestion for them so that they keep a good rep. so good organization.
    For word choice I would suggest you be alittle bit more descriptive, instead of "cleaning us out with no apoligizes." say something like "they pushed us to the floor violently, and walked away without a simple apology."
    make sure you change some sentences to show how angry,frustrated,etc. you and others were. Be sure to "show" not just "tell" what happened.
    Other than that theres minor misspelling errors like "Secred Hearts."

    But good job, and good luck on the final(:

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